Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
