office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You are the jesus of drinking
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
