oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
