when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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