I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You can't just leave with hair like that
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize