i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
