What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
