Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
