I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
