This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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