May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
