You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
