I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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