You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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