when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
