so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
