Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
