I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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