im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
