Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
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