Yo dont text me then not text me
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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