I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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