taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
