jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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