and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
