Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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