she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
