Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
