Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
