meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
