carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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