I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize