I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
