i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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