Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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