Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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