is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize