Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
