You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
