Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
