turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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