Your tits are I can't wait for
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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