Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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