im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
