Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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