Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
