dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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