i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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