The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
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He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
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I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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