VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I wish i was in the wii world.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
i out mim tonsoeep
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