I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
