I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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