I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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