I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
